They told me my images were dark, depressive and wouldn’t sell well. I didn’t make them to be sold. I was making them to save myself from insanity and excruciating pain. I had finally found a way to channel and embrace my darkness through art. And I was harming no one.
Believe me, believe us.
“Nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.”
– Janet Fitch, White Oleander.
“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor…Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honourably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
― Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi
“I drag myself out of nightmares each morning and find there’s no relief in waking.”
― Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay
Shutting out the depression strengthens it. While you hide from it, it grows. And the people who do better are the ones who are able to tolerate the fact that they have this condition. Those who can tolerate their depression are the ones who achieve resilience.
Valuing one’s depression does not prevent a relapse, but it may make the prospect of relapse and even relapse itself easier to tolerate. The question is not so much of finding great meaning and deciding your depression has been very meaningful. It’s of seeking that meaning and thinking, when it comes again,“This will be hellish, but I will learn something from it.”
The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and these days, my life is vital, even on the days when I’m sad. I felt that funeral in my brain, and I sat next to the colossus at the edge of the world, and I have discovered something inside of myself that I would have to call a soul that I had never formulated until that day 20 years ago when hell came to pay me a surprise visit. I think that while I hated being depressed and would hate to be depressed again, I’ve found a way to love my depression. I love it because it has forced me to find and cling to joy. I love it because each day I decide, sometimes gamely, and sometimes against the moment’s reason, to cleave to the reasons for living. And that, I think, is a highly privileged rapture.”
The Science of Sleep: Dreaming, Depression, and How REM Sleep Regulates Negative Emotion by Maria Popova via Brainpickings
Book: The Twenty-four Hour Mind: The Role of Sleep and Dreaming in Our Emotional Lives by Rosalind D. Cartwright.
Cynthia W. Lubow: What It’s Like Inside a Depressed Person’s Head
“A major depressive episode can alter not only a person’s mood and sense of belonging but also his or her reality.”
“Major depression feels like intense pain that can’t be identified in any particular part of the body. The most (normally) pleasant and comforting touch can feel painful to the point of tears. People seem far away—on the other side of a glass bubble. No one seems to understand or care, and people seem insincere. Depression is utterly isolating.”
“I might look successful and happy being in front of you today, but I once suffered from severe depression and was in total despair. The violin, which meant everything to me, became a grave burden on me. […]
In the midst of hardship, it was the music that gave me, and it restored my soul. […]
Now, I use my music to reach people’s hearts and have found there are no boundaries. My audience is anyone who is here to listen, even those who are not familiar with classical music.”
– Ji-Hae Park
